![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
happyeclairOriginally posted: 12 June 2005
I had a cup of espresso in my right hand. I could smell the aroma very well and it was something that made me a bit more relaxed. Just a little.
It was such a rainy afternoon and the cafeteria was almost full.
Almost.
The seat across me was empty.
The air was humid. It was almost stifling.
I was alone. Unless one would consider my ES 11 book and my Sharp calculator suitable companions, that is. I was in the middle of solving a bunch of sample problems on trusses and frames when you walked up to my table and asked:
“Miss, may I join you?”
And you even glanced around and seemed to want to say “There are no more vacant seats.” You didn’t have to do that because I knew that anyway.
I glared at my book and calculator, wishing that they were both gone. Then I looked up and met your gaze. I noticed that your nose wasn’t flat, that your eyes were round and that your bangs are a bit long but they did not cover your eyes. Your countenance was pleasant. And your smile - it seemed to me that you weren’t unperturbed at all by the horrid weather and the stuffiness of the cafeteria.
“Have a seat,” I mumbled, not knowing anything else to say to you. What was I supposed to say anyway?
You smiled and placed your bag on the floor. You said, “Thanks” and proceeded to sit on the chair. Then you placed your sketchpad on the table. I watched you idly flip through it, looking for an empty page. You had a mechanical pencil in your shirt pocket and you took it out. I was suddenly reminded of him - the one who told me I was beautiful, the one who told me I was a cat whose eyes haunted him. At that moment I wanted to get up from my seat and leave you alone to sketch your fantasies. I felt that the air in the cafeteria was choking me, as if there were actual hands around my neck. I got all the more distracted from solving my ES 11 sample problems - sort of. Hah. I felt as though I was hit by a truss.
You seemed to have noticed that I was getting a bit edgy. Why shouldn’t I be? All those bittersweet memories flooded my mind, sending it into a flight of panic.
I tried to not look at your sketchpad. How did I try this? I stared at my feet. My be-sandaled feet. And yet I got more memories of him. How could it be? Well, I was wearing the Mojo sandals he gave me when he found out that sandal straps got torn one time. I wanted to remove them from my feet already, to tell the truth. But I had no extra shoes in my locker.
The thought of the locker.
We used to share it. However, two weeks ago I changed the lock. He didn’t use it as much as I did anyway. The only reason he shared it with me was that he could leave gifts for me. Then again, it’s been a while since he surprised me. And now he has no reason to do so. And I shouldn’t expect anything.
I have to shake off these thoughts. I must focus on my problem set. It’s due tomorrow. My world has to go on turning without him by my side.
“You ok?” you asked me. You glanced at my problem set. I guess you think that I am freaking out because of it.
I tried to give you a smile, no matter how fake it is. “I’ll be fine,” I mumbled. That was such a lame thing to say. I try to avoid looking at you once again because all the pain comes back to me when you look my way.
———————————————-
That was definitely just a story. I had the idea during a rainy day while waiting for a ride by MRT Quezon Avenue station. Somehow, the stormy weather made me think of my college days and CASAA, the canteen by Palma Hall.
I had a cup of espresso in my right hand. I could smell the aroma very well and it was something that made me a bit more relaxed. Just a little.
It was such a rainy afternoon and the cafeteria was almost full.
Almost.
The seat across me was empty.
The air was humid. It was almost stifling.
I was alone. Unless one would consider my ES 11 book and my Sharp calculator suitable companions, that is. I was in the middle of solving a bunch of sample problems on trusses and frames when you walked up to my table and asked:
“Miss, may I join you?”
And you even glanced around and seemed to want to say “There are no more vacant seats.” You didn’t have to do that because I knew that anyway.
I glared at my book and calculator, wishing that they were both gone. Then I looked up and met your gaze. I noticed that your nose wasn’t flat, that your eyes were round and that your bangs are a bit long but they did not cover your eyes. Your countenance was pleasant. And your smile - it seemed to me that you weren’t unperturbed at all by the horrid weather and the stuffiness of the cafeteria.
“Have a seat,” I mumbled, not knowing anything else to say to you. What was I supposed to say anyway?
You smiled and placed your bag on the floor. You said, “Thanks” and proceeded to sit on the chair. Then you placed your sketchpad on the table. I watched you idly flip through it, looking for an empty page. You had a mechanical pencil in your shirt pocket and you took it out. I was suddenly reminded of him - the one who told me I was beautiful, the one who told me I was a cat whose eyes haunted him. At that moment I wanted to get up from my seat and leave you alone to sketch your fantasies. I felt that the air in the cafeteria was choking me, as if there were actual hands around my neck. I got all the more distracted from solving my ES 11 sample problems - sort of. Hah. I felt as though I was hit by a truss.
You seemed to have noticed that I was getting a bit edgy. Why shouldn’t I be? All those bittersweet memories flooded my mind, sending it into a flight of panic.
I tried to not look at your sketchpad. How did I try this? I stared at my feet. My be-sandaled feet. And yet I got more memories of him. How could it be? Well, I was wearing the Mojo sandals he gave me when he found out that sandal straps got torn one time. I wanted to remove them from my feet already, to tell the truth. But I had no extra shoes in my locker.
The thought of the locker.
We used to share it. However, two weeks ago I changed the lock. He didn’t use it as much as I did anyway. The only reason he shared it with me was that he could leave gifts for me. Then again, it’s been a while since he surprised me. And now he has no reason to do so. And I shouldn’t expect anything.
I have to shake off these thoughts. I must focus on my problem set. It’s due tomorrow. My world has to go on turning without him by my side.
“You ok?” you asked me. You glanced at my problem set. I guess you think that I am freaking out because of it.
I tried to give you a smile, no matter how fake it is. “I’ll be fine,” I mumbled. That was such a lame thing to say. I try to avoid looking at you once again because all the pain comes back to me when you look my way.
———————————————-
That was definitely just a story. I had the idea during a rainy day while waiting for a ride by MRT Quezon Avenue station. Somehow, the stormy weather made me think of my college days and CASAA, the canteen by Palma Hall.
